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Article by (2013-12-07)

The Shovel. Can You Dig It? Part One

On the long list of survival and outdoor gear things like knives, fire starters, flashlights, and water filters always seem to take all the limelight. Even in 'theoretical' zombie melee weapon scenarios everyone want to talk about lobos, katanas, and all kinds of exotic coconut cracking technology that will inevitably sit around collecting dust until the big day comes and your friends suddenly find your hobby interesting and practical.

No Shovel = Not Worthy

But when they get their Priuses stuck in the mud and look at you with tears streaming down their filthy faces, you bust out shovel and suddenly a glimmer of hope appears. It goes away pretty quick after you hand them the shovel. When the hard work is done they will never consider going out and getting one of their own because carrying around 'equipment' in a vehicle is taking jobs away from the AAA call centers and tow trucks making them wait 3 hours of quality smartphone time. Why do you hate capitalism so much?

I hear you need some help. You can rent this shovel for $20 an hour.
I hear you need some help. You can rent this shovel for $20 an hour.

Speaking of which how come commie countries never use a shovel in their flag? The USSR used a hammer to represent industry and the sickle to represent agriculture, but a shovel represents everyone. You don't exist on the earth's crust without grabbing a scoop of SOMETHING now and then, and using fingers just plain sucks. Sure there would leave the door wide open for “full of B.S. Jokes” but I say embrace it! When I get around to starting my own worker's paradise the flag will be a shovel and a compost pile so people will know exactly what to expect. In business they say always under-promise and over-deliver, right?

The Shovel Part 2 Coming Soon

Check back soon when we review the Russian Special Forces Shovel by Cold Steel, Survival Chicken's chunk chucker of choice.

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