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How To Guide by (2017-02-24)

Talk Shit, Get Shot

“For some reason, you mutha fxxxxxs think this is a game. You think you can say anything you want and nothing will ever happen to you. You think we live in a new age... But Let me tell you, it can happen real easy.”

After the Chalrie Hebdo attack it seemed like Kony 2012 all over again. All my artsy-fartsy friends were throwing up Je Suis Charlie messages and images of bloody pens on their social media, talking about free speech. So I cruised around and checked out some of the cartoons in question and my first response was something along the line of “What the hell did they expect?”

Hebdo cartoons are not very clever. Here is a Patriotic Parrot.
Hebdo cartoons are not very clever. Here is a Patriotic Parrot.

Don't get me wrong. This Chicken loves cartoonists, free speech, and cartoonists practicing free speech while living long-ass lives before finally checking out due to natural causes but these are all relics of a dying world. The currently emerging Barbarian Age has a whole different set of rules that don't resemble a Constitution or Bill of Rights as much as The Law of Tooth and Club mixed in with some Machiavellian politics and Road Warrior redistribution of resources (without petrol, of course).

There was a time when free speech could have prevailed, but we pretty much blew it. Twenty years ago at least we had Rage Against The Machine on the radio telling us to fight the power, but now it's impossible to tell the difference between the music and the commercial breaks. Back in my early teen days there was this metal band called Body Count who wrote a song about killing cops. People were upset, but nobody got in serious trouble. I imagine if someone tried releasing a similar track these days the artist would be in prison and the label would be broke from the legal defense costs.

Make no mistake. The First Amendment is gone and it it's place is “Freedom of speech, just watch what you say.”

Body Count released their fifth album a few months back along with a video for “Talk Shit, Get Shot” which at first seemed like a juvenile attempt to poke fun at the social media hater set. But after Charlie Hebdo? Now it seems like the perfect soundtrack for the dissolution of Western Civilization.


Crazy Is The New Normal

So what does all this have to do with survivin' and keeping yourself alive? Well gosh darn it I'm glad you asked. We have here what is known as a predicament. Basically all over the world there are a bunch of very unhappy people who have gone through some serious suffering in order for the rest of us to pretend that the horrible stuff happening everywhere is just a temporary glitch before things get back to normal. When people talk about the shrinking middle class, basically it's a polite way to describe the process of the latter group being absorbed into the former.

It sounds kind of harmless and distant when you read it in the newspaper, but the media is great at ignoring the State-sponsored violence and oppression that these people face every day in order to suppress their discontent and make them disappear so that they don't spoil the illusion for the last few remaining “productive” citizens. Basically the giant Homeland Security apparatus that's supposed to protect us is only radicalizing the forgotten classes into the barbarian hordes that will eventually tear the Western World apart.

Now imagine picking up the country and shaking it like an ant farm just to see what happens.
Now imagine picking up the country and shaking it like an ant farm just to see what happens.


You Ain't Talking Your Way Out Of This Shit

So what can you do about it? Well I pretty much covered the options in ISIS vs. Mexican Drug Cartels so there's no reason to go over it twice. I will offer this bit of insight which wasn't covered before. Do not expect to be able to reason with these people, especially once the welfare dries up and grocery stores start running out of food. Through a process I call Katrineducation, by which all the reasonable adults are killed off leaving the mentally-scarred kids to raises themselves into violent little psychopaths, there exists a surplus of hatred in the cities and dells waiting to spill over once the lid comes off.

This is what reaching out to children through social welfare programs looks like today.
This is what reaching out to children through social welfare programs looks like today.

With a truly terrifying financial collapse seemingly just around the corner, it's probably a little late to do the community-building thing. You are probably stuck with whoever you know already, or at least the ones you already know who don't end up going crazy and/or killing themselves. That said it's probably in your best interest to not raise your profile and endanger your compatriots by painting a target on your back by exercising those imaginary Free Speech rights. From now on whenever someone mentions “Free Speech” just imagine the words to “Expensive Liability” so you will remember to keep your mouth shut and your head down. Not having enemies actively gunning for you might just be the edge you need to get through the next wave of whatever's coming.

"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing."
- Conan The Barbarian, The Tower of the Elephant

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