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How To Guide by (2014-12-26)

Strategies For The Resistance Part Two

You're still here after Part One? Wow. Writing that was making ME depressed, so I trully admire your gumption. I'm guessing the reason you stuck around was because either you like reading stuff that makes you angry, or you can tell things are getting ugly and want to figure out how to stop it. If it's the former then get ready to have your bacon burned, because from the perspective of a statist this is going to look like some seriously bad advice for terrible people.

Could it really be that easy?
Could it really be that easy?

 

Anarcho-somethingorother Rebellion Lite

The reason I decided to crank out an article on this subject was because I noticed a distinct trend among some of my favorite people who write on the internet and stuff. Chris Hedges, Noam Chomsky, Dimitri Orlov, and a handfull of others had all suddenly switched tracks (in the space of about a week) from defining problems to giving practical advice on home-brew nonviolent revolution. Interesting. So I licked my finger, stuck it in the air, and can tell you the winds of discontent among the plebs have started to blow in a way they probably haven't since the 1960's.

You can definitely learn more about becoming a revolution pro from those guys than you can by taking advice from this Chicken, but I do have something to offer those who aspire to less-than-greatness. If you aren't yet depressed enough for suicide, too lazy to organize/march, and the idea of dying in a hail of bullets, beaten to death by cops, or getting tossed down some extra-judicial torture hole doesn't sound appealing at all then keep scrolling. This option might actually float your boat.

They will save you a seat in case you change your mind later.
They will save you a seat in case you change your mind later.

The Tao Of Slack

Let's face it. Not everyone is exceptional. Fred Rogers was right about something, though. You are special, you are unique, and there is nobody like you. When utilized properly, this gives you significant leverage over the nameless armies of brainwashed consumer-bots and rabid sports fans all begging to get stuffed into one category or another. While they lick the master's boots and perform stupid tricks in exchange for scraps off the table, you can take long naps, raid the trash cans, and quietly sneak under the house to dig away at the foundation.


 

Here are some suggestions for making a positive change in the world while regaining some control over your own life, starting with the place you are uniquely suited to saboge: your job.
 

Stay Focused

Becoming an unproductive citizen is a tough boundary to cross, even if the fate of 99% of the species on the planet is currently at stake. As humans we are wired for cooperation because it's a necessary trait of our survival. Unfortunately that instinct has been perverted by The Man to enrich himself at our expense, and going against our own Darwinian programming is a true exercise in mental toughness.

The other guys on the plantation probably missed him. Oh well.
The other guys on the plantation probably missed him. Oh well.

 

Don't (officially) Quit Your Day Job

Back in my punk rock days there was a delightful tome called The Book Of The SubGenius that got circulated mostly by theft. It was a combination of parody, truth, and just plain ridiculousness all targeted directly at institutional dysfunction and stupidity. If you are truly dedicated to crashing the empire without breaking a sweat, then your first assignment is acquire a copy and secretly read it while you are supposed to be working. By doing this simple act, you have already shown your commitment to destroying the economic activity which is killing the planet.

But then again who are we to question His wisdom?
But then again who are we to question His wisdom?

Don't Get Busted

I hope you didn't start without finishing the article, because here's the most important part. Do not get caught! If you are caught, you risk being fired. Your mission to sabotage economic activity will have failed as the masters will find some other automaton more than willing to take your place and work themselves to death in exchange for poisoned food, electronic mind-control trinkets, and conditional love.

 

Non-Competitors Never Lose

Lots of jobs encourage co-workers into outperform one another. There is no such thing as healthy competition, because there is no value in causing other people to suffer. It is a destructive force that allows an overseer class to take advantage of the underlings' need to dominate someone else in an attempt to provide meaning to their own miserable existence. War is a racket for military contractors, professional sports is a racket for bookies, and ranking people's job performance is a weapon-of-mass-humiliation meant to stifle the kind of cooperation and rational thinking that would inevitably challenge the status quo. Vegas rules apply, and the Boss always wins. Do what you have to in order to survive, but be aware that your dignity will usually be much more valuable in the long run.

 

Have An Anti-Career

Hobbies are fun. Anti-Careers are work, but it's possible to combine the two and make the working more enjoyable. Just the fact that some blood sucking remora in a middle-man suit isn't taking his cut should make even the most menial tasks a little bit easier. Ideally this will also be something that builds useful skills for SHTF-type situations like welding Frankenvehicles together with used bike parts or brewing beer in your basement. I like farming. Actually farming might be too strong a word, although at the moment I'm giving the traditional style a go to see if I can hack it. My version is more like intensive fruit and vegetable gardening in the backyard using discarded resort food and chicken manure. The point isn't to make money, win some contest or impress people, but to scratch things off the grocery shopping list and bribe the neighbors.

The goal of an Anti-Career is to gain valuable experience navigating the black markets which will inevitably arise as deficit spending takes it's natural course. If you can figure out a way to skirt regulations and oversight while providing a valuable product or service then the dark days ahead needn't seem so grim.

 

Zen and The Art of Laziness
 

Even in the Bible one of the first things God did was call it good and take a day-long power nap, but yet here you are answering emails and taking phone calls on the weekend. Even worse, maybe somehow you got sucked into logistically supporting some kind of company activity on your time off. Personal time is a precious commodity to be jealously hoarded. Never let the bastards take it away from you. There's no need extra garbage in your life, especially if it involves permitting, registration, accounting, or following a bunch of bureaucratic rules that some pencil pusher came up with to justify their own position.

Babe. I just had the craziest dream.
Babe. I just had the craziest dream.

God has spoken, and given you a very specific commandment to follow her example and take at least one day a week to be completely unproductive. Use whatever means are at your disposal to ditch any obligations that might compromise your relationship with the Creator. If religion isn't your cup of tea then find one of the many medical professionals out there literally begging to take your money in exchange for a disability diagnosis. Some of them will actually prescribe such revolutionary concepts as mandatory rest instead of just pumping you full of pain pills and mind control meds.

 

Side effects may vary.
Side effects may vary.

 

Most importanly make sure you discard such notions of "using" or "spending" your time. Those are the words of the enemy and are designed to trick you into thinking of time as a commodity. How about choosing to simply exist in a given moment? Try slowing down that mental chatter every once in a while and see if you can hear the Freedom. If pondering the mysteries of the universe makes you antsy then by all means channel your energy into something fun, but make sure it doesn't become a full-fledged production or involve spending lots of money. Do your best to simply cruise and make things up as you go along. If enough people learned to live in the moment and not give into the fear and anxiety that feeds consumer culture, the beast would surely starve.

 

Check back for Part 3 where we explore even more helpful suggestions for bringing the globalists to their knees by harnessing the awesome power of not-giving-a-flying-Fillintheblank!

 

 

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