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How To Guide by (2014-11-21)

Do Not Fear The Illuminati

Spend enough time on the Interwebz and inevitably you will come into contact with the conspiracy theorist under-verse of foaming pseudo-intellectuals all vying for your time and consciousness. While you have to be a certain special kind of idiot to believe we live in the world where the most powerful people operate with our best interests in mind, wading too far in the deep end of the conspiracy pool will inevitably leave you with the impression that there is no point in resisting the current invasion of 4th dimensional space lizards besides molesting other “Sheeple” with snappy comments on alternative internet threads. Because yeah, that's real productive.

 

OK. Maybe slightly more productive than this.
OK. Maybe slightly more productive than this.

 

The truth, as far as this lowly Chicken can surmise, is that we live in a world of chaos. There is no overall conspiracy. Well, that's not necessarily true. Actually there are several overlapping conspiracies, and they are constantly getting in each others' way. While the current trend of troubling news stories may fascinate and confound the generally clueless public, when one compares the general trends to civilizations that have failed in the past it becomes a little bit easier to understand what forces are at work here.

 

It was not me. It was the FORCES.
It was not me. It was the FORCES.

 

Now if you are a believer in some overall conspiracy in which none of us are actually in control of our own lives and destinies, then the first question you should ask is what would be the ultimate goal that our overlords yearn to fulfill? Got it?

 

OK the second question is how is that going so far? I'm just asking because whoever planned the chain of events leading up to our present situation is either really crazy or extremely stupid. Chances are whatever conspiracy plans people can dream up will always remain just 'plans' because who the hell wants to take responsibility for the way things are at any given moment?

 

Not necessarily pointing any fingers for our current situation but...
Not necessarily pointing any fingers for our current situation but...

 

Sure, I get the concept of depopulation but who is going to cook the food, mend the fences, solder the electronics, and talk all the lucky lonely survivors out of suicide? The whole idea of modern industrial civilization is based on a variety of decentralized inputs, which means pretty much every machine that makes us who we pretend to be has parts that come from very specialized factories all over the world using some sort of reliable and affordable transportation. Without billions of people around our ability to even maintain our current machinery is severely compromised. That means if everything goes according to the depopulation plan, the Illuminati are setting themselves up for a step back to the middle ages for a heaping helping of farming, Feudalism, and smallpox. I'm not exactly sure what kind of ultra-rich demographic is going to sign up for such a thing. Maybe the ones with beards?

 

He was into population control and beards way before they were cool.
He was into population control and beards way before they were cool.

 

Which brings me to the next point. Even if Apple manages to create a popular new brainwash implant chip that turns hipsters into mindless slaves, how is the current trend of destabilizing larger and larger chunks of the population going to help? Plebs all over the world are growing increasingly desperate and angry. Wars are breaking out all over the place. Huge amounts of resources are being wasted trying to sedate the masses and cover up our problems. This sounds more like a recipe for corporate fat cats getting hunted down for their protein content rather than ushering in some shining new world order. Entropy is a one-way street, and transitioning globalization into some sort of master plan is looking less likely with every passing hour.

 

Do not worry. We will have this cleaned up in a jiff.
Do not worry. We will have this cleaned up in a jiff.

 

Now you could say the idea is to crash the whole system and replace it with something else, but these Illuminati folks are not the kind who succeed at rebuilding anything. Their expertise is in manipulating the levers of preexisting power, not building power from scratch. The latter requires a special skill set which is quite different than that of your typical maniacal Nancy-boy who's main concern is acquiring digital wealth and becoming increasingly divorced from objective reality. The people who do have these kind of civilization start-up skills are more likely to resemble Conan the Barbarian rather than Lord Humpingsworth and his LIBOR-fixing race horse owners.

 

To crush the interest rates, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the markets.
To crush the interest rates, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the markets.

 

I'm sure you are frothing at the bit to point out the fact that it's the eyeball/pyramid party who controls the mechanisms of mass surveillance and the greatest military the world has ever seen, but you'd be making the same mistake as they do in believing that it's the person who gives the orders that has the power. The history books are written with smeared remains of despots who learned the hard way that it's the guy who actually has their hand on the weapon that ultimately has the power.

 

This is how the last Roman emperor went out. Like a Bitch.
This is how the last Roman emperor went out. Like a Bitch.

 

And now, finally, something you should be afraid of. Not the grand schemes of reptilian space-fascists, but Officer Friendly and Sergeant major Mental Disorder. When they decide that listening to the eccentric whims Prime Minister Fruitcake has outlived it's usefulness, suddenly a whole warrior class of rifle-jocks groomed for their ability to enjoy ruthless brutality in the name of maintaining order at “any cost” is unleashed on the burning streets to make up their own rules. Maybe some of the fallen royalty will see what's about to happen and catch that last helicopter to their private island and die at a ripe old age, but that's not much of a world domination strategy in my book.
 

The picture I've painted here is a bleak one, but there's a reason for that. Hopefully we can rescue some of the far-out conspiracy folk from their Illuminati dreamland and convince them to make better use of their time while the grid is still sizzling and the streets aren't filled with bodies. Trusting in the delusional plans of wealthy fools is a dangerous escape fantasy. The world is exciting enough as it is.



 

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